Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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