well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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