I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
