Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
