Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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