areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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