how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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