Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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