Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
