He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
