My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
