Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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