Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize