Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
