Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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