Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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