Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
did you get engaged???
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
