Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
