I feel like I'm in dance class right now
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Boobs speak an international language.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
