someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
