Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
