Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
