At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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