Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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