Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
