You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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