Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
