man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
