4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
