I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
