I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
