Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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