Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
