So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
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