Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize