i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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