I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
