i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
