Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I intend to get homeless drunk
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
