Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
My vagina just clenched in fear
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
