you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
