i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
