i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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