i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
