i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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