You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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