thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
