You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
