like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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