If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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