I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
how drunk are you?
Several
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize