At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
