I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
