Your mouth is God's brothel.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Just high enough for therapy.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
