Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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