I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
