and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
