He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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