so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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