I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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