I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
